One of the repeated themes I notice as I paint is feeling in the midst of storms and “Calming the Storm.” Or the aftermath of storms.
I’ve felt extremely stressed this week about prepping for my art show. When I feel very anxious and stressed I often shut down. I become stuck in analysis paralysis. Too afraid of making a mistake or is it too overwhelmed to get up and start?
Starting is the hard part. I’m in a boat and I see the storm coming. I think the storm is going to be a category 5 hurricane. So I close up and hide behind my phone hoping somehow I will avoid the storm, but part of me also knows this storm needs to be faced
For example tonight I sat and thought about all the paintings I’d wanted to frame for the show. All my grand ideas for presenting my art and realized I would have time to complete few of those ideas. Stuck in indecision, I finally got up and began to tear apart a painting that has been bugging me for 6 months to reframe it. Once I began, the process was enjoyable. Chipping and breaking glued wood, sanding, gessoing, and picking 4 paintings to switch out of frames. As I worked with my hands my inner storm calmed and I felt peace. God was not sleeping. My anxious moment passed and I enjoy smooth sailing again.
Interestingly enough some of the paintings I’m framing involve Jesus in various storms or after storms. I don’t have them photographed in the frames yet, but here are some of my stormy paintings.
And for myself because I like numbers and I think identifying my behavior patterns is helpful... time spent worrying about prepping panels and art for framing 3-4 hrs. Time it took once I actually began... 30 minutes. Why do I spend so much time avoiding and worrying? Perhaps one day that time will be less... it reminds me of worrying about the forecasted blizzard in 0 degree weather that only ends up with a light snowfall. Predictions are not always reliable.
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