2/7/2020
"A Future Unknown"
5x7 Monotype print on 8 1/2"x11" paper
Emmalee Powell
A future unknown.
A path I feel but can't see.
Can I find peace presently?
2/2/2020
"God Who Stays"
7x7 Monotype print on 8 1/2"x11" paper
Emmalee Powell
Trying something new.
Why does God stay when I'm away?
My problems repeat.
The pattern is the same.
Why can't I let go?
2/2/2020
"The Breath of God"
5x7 Monotype print on 8 1/2"x11" paper
Emmalee Powell
The breath of God fills my soul.
It's good to be here and alive.
But then my mind sees how impossible my planned future will be.
I must be wrong.
It can't be true.
It would take a miracle.
And what makes me more deserving of the miracle than you?
My current thoughts behind this art and happenings the last few weeks:
I'm close to graduating with my master's degree. I plan on defending my thesis in April. I still have a lot of work to do. The hardest part is sitting down and trying to edit and organize my thoughts. I try to shorten and clarify my thesis and it keeps becoming longer and more complex. And when I sit down to type I become distracted about my future. (I've been teaching art part-time at BYU and UVU the past 3 years while earning my graduate degree. Previously I worked as a middle school art teacher for 9 years.) Will I return to teaching art full-time? Is it possible I could work at UVU as a full-time faculty? I continue to make art but over the last year I've felt a big whole inside from not teaching enough. I only teach one class, about 6 hours per week this semester. Last night, I came home from teaching full of energy and unable to sleep, yet again because I was excited about possibilities. Although I love art and need to create art, teaching is something that energizes me. I notice a significant decrease in my anxiety and increased overall happiness when I teach.
I question where is the best place for me. I love teaching part time at UVU but it isn't quite enough teaching. I think I would excel as a mentor and full-time faculty member, plus there is a lot of room for job growth. I love helping my students gain confidence, find hope, peace, and laughter. But what is too much? To work there more would take a miracle.
But I worry which miracle is best for me and my family? Silly to worry about miracles, when it's all out of my control anyway. So how do I let go of the unknown future, a troublesome past, and find peace now in Christ?
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